I thought it will be a quick meetup.
It was a cold call. I had responded to an online survey that gave a face mask in return for completing the survey. What I didn’t realise is that someone will contact me and have a conversation about an insurance product too.
That was the reason for the meetup. Listen to what the person has to say, thank him, and move on to my next appointment.
I was wrong. What was supposed to be at most 30 minutes ended up as an hour’s meet.
I was engrossed looking at the screen, trying to decipher what the person on the call was saying, so that I can respond appropriately to the item. After all, the environment is quite noisy. I was in a cafe, dialling into a virtual meeting.
He said hi. I didn’t see him till a while later, as I was trying to explain an aspect of my work to the meeting. I nodded, and indicated that he could take a seat. Then I went back to my meeting.
I wrapped up the meeting, then turned my attention to him. He looked boyish, but I think he is probably around my age, or slightly younger. He looked sincere too. And his dressing was slightly different from the typical financial adviser outfit – shirt, tie and pants. He was in the smart casual mode you find for dress down office days.
I told him my office is in the area, and since I was going to meet him in the cafe, I popped in earlier to dial in for my virtual meeting from there instead. That was how I came to share about my work – that I empower teachers who work with children with special needs, to help them pick up skills, develop friendships and build dreams.
“Oh! My son has Feingold syndrome. I have always wondered if he will attend a special education school in the future …”
With that connection established, we started learning more from each other – what Feingold syndrome is, what are the ramifications, the journey he is going through, what I do in my line of work with schools, and so on.
His sharing was intense, despite this being our first meeting. The experience his son went through in the hospital – diagnosis, operation, treatment – were heartbreaking to hear, at the least. His son knows the hospital environment more than his home. He is more familiar with the medical staff than his family. The child does not know family relationships the way others around his age probably do.
You Don’t Need A Lot To Connect
I actually don’t fancy the idea of meeting with this insurance advisor. I thought getting a free mask doesn’t involve any other obligations. Hearing a product presentation, what more insurance, is not my preferred way to spend after office hours too.
There are a few reasons why, despite my initial reluctance, that half hour meet stretched to an hour. That connection between him and me happened because of various reasons:
1. We can relate to each other’s story.
Part of connecting with another person involves giving attention to what is said and the message behind. That calls for active listening.
The insurance advisor did that well. He maintained eye contact, asked questions that showed he heard what I said, and maintained the flow of conversation by saying more, or asking more, at the right junctures.
It also means being curious about the topic at hand. He used the term “Feingold syndrome”, which I am unfamiliar with, but which I found out more after googling about it (I actually had a primary school classmate with this condition).
2. Both of us have a story to tell.
The insurance advisor showed curiosity at my line of work. I gave him my 10 second headline, which got him to find out more about what I do. He used that to share his story of his son, because he was curious if I could share information that may be useful in the future.
We don’t need to have similar stories to create connections with each other. Neither do we need “sob” stories to garner attention from the other party. What we need are stories that hook the listener. I guess this insurance advisor is in the right line of work, since he has real experience when speaking about his products.
If you want to hook your audience in your line of work, prepare your stories well. Know what stories to use when you need them, and know how to pitch your stories at the right time to achieve the desired impact.
3. The conversation has meaning for both parties.
It is not just his story of his son that hooked me. It is also his story of himself – about his heart condition, his two other children, and his decision to leave his former industry for the insurance sector, in order to have flexibility to look after his son.
That we are probably similar in profile (as males and fathers) also lends itself to foster that connection too. I can understand the kind of thinking he has, and why he will share specific insurance products in his pitch – they are directly relevant to him, and could apply to me too.
He got a potential customer thinking about his own situation, while I gave him an avenue to share about himself. Not quite the same, I know. He probably benefitted from this meeting more than me (especially if he eventually earns that commission).
I still benefitted though. I learnt from another person how you can be resilient in the fact of adversity, live. This is not just a story I read from somewhere, but from a person telling as he lives through it.
A Connection Starts With The Right Ingredients
The next time you want to connect with someone, think of how you can create value for the person. Find the right story (with the right angle to pitch) and customize it for your audience. You may find that doing so helps you form deeper connections than expected.
Have you made connections like this in your line of work? What are your ingredients for success?
Learning Continuously 